On the Heights of Despair 選段試譯

 

本書豆瓣主頁:http://book.douban.com/subject/3142534/ 自己建的Cioran的豆瓣小組:http://www.douban.com/group/527604/

前言

我花了很長時間讀完這本書。當然這并不是因為我是個嚴謹的人,而是因為我有拖延癥,懶得長時間專注於一本書…… 現在仔細想想,我讀這本書的時間幾乎集中於某段頻繁失眠的時期,據說Cioran寫這本書的那段時間也是頻繁失眠,所以也算是比較美麗的巧合了吧。

關於這書我應該沒有什麼好說的,一般人看了標題大概都知道是在寫什麼吧。 不過不管怎麼樣,這本書於我而言是十分治癒的──至少對某段時間的我來說是這樣的。

我覺得心情不好的少年青年中年老年人朋友都可以隨便讀讀,挺有效的。(……)

這本書是Cioran在他二十歲出頭的時候完成的。原文是羅馬尼亞語,因為還沒有正式的中譯本,所以讀了英譯本,地址就在上面。選擇翻譯的內容是我當時有作標記的內容,當然我知道的我的萌點很奇怪,所以基本沒有劃到所謂重點,請見諒。水平不佳,試譯是為了練習,也是為了作個批註給未來的自己再看,還需找時間修改。如有明顯不妥之處還望指出。

背景资料

Cioran維基百科:http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E8%95%AD%E6%B2%86 Cioran簡介: 萧沆(Emil Cioran, 1911年-1995年),罗马尼亚旅法哲人,二十世纪怀疑论、虚无主义重要思想家。有罗马尼亚语及法语创作格言、断章体哲学著述传世,以文辞精雅新奇、思想深邃激烈见称。 萧沆属天才早熟型、诗人气质哲学家。入读布加勒斯特大学期间,博览群书,尤其深受叔本华、尼采、舍斯托夫、杜斯妥也夫斯基等人影响。

试译文

  1. On the contrary, it is much more true that through spirit man achieves disequilibrium, anxiety as well as grandeur. What do you expect those who don’t know the dangers of life to know of the dangers of the spirit? To argue the case for spirit is a sign of great ignorance, just as to make a case for life is a sign of great disequilibrium. For the normal man, life is an undisputed reality; only the sick man is delighted by life and praises it so that he won’t collapse. And what about the man who cannot praise either life or the spirit? 恰恰相反,人更易通過精神變得偉大,而同時也會落入失衡、焦慮之境地。 你又何必要期望不懂得生活之危險的人明白精神之危險呢? 爭論精神的問題是一種巨大的無知,而爭論生活的問題也是一種巨大的失衡。 生活於常人而言是個無可置疑的事實,只有病夫才會為確保自己不會崩潰而沉浸於生活之喜悅并歌頌它。那,那些既不能歌頌生活也不能歌頌精神的人又該何去何從?

  2. The true meaning of agony, which is not a struggle of pure passion or gratuitous fantasy, but life’s hopeless struggle in the claws of death, is revealed in this feeling of great weariness. 苦難的真實含義在巨大的疲乏之中被揭露出來──它并不是沒來由空想或純粹激情的掙扎,而是生活在死亡爪牙之下的無望掙扎。

  3. How I wish I did not know anything about myself and this world! 我多麼希望我對自己與世界都一無所知!

  4. One should not forget that philosophy is the art of masking inner torments. 人們不該忘記哲學是予內心煎熬以假面的藝術。

  5. Since there is no salvation either in existence or in nothingness, let this world with its eternal laws be smashed to pieces! 既然在存在與虛無中都沒有救贖,那麼就讓這個世界與無休止的規則一起粉身碎骨!

  6. Real solitude implies a painful intermission in man’s life, a lonely struggle with the angel of death. 真切(真正)的孤獨意味著人的生命中的一段痛苦的間歇,意味著孤身與死亡天使作鬥爭。

  7. But I never cried, because my tears have always turned into thoughts. And my thoughts are as bitter as tears. 但我從不哭泣,因為我的淚水都轉化為思想。 也正因此我的思想如眼淚一般苦澀。

  8. I renounce my humanity even though I may find myself alone. But am I not already alone in this world from which I no longer expect anything? 我放棄我的人性,即便我知道我會因此歸於孤獨。 但在這個於我而言已毫無念想的世界上,我是否已經是孤身一人了呢?

  9. The spirit is the offspring of an existential illness, and Man is a sick animal. 精神是存在這一病症的產物,而人類是病態的動物。

  10. I’ve lost everything! Flowers are blooming and birds are singing all around me! How distant I am from everything! 我已失去了一切!鳥語花香圍繞在我身邊!可我離一切都是那麼遙遠!

  11. True confessions are written with tears only. But my tears would drown the world, as my inner fire would reduce it to ashes. 真切的懺悔只能用眼淚來記錄,可我的淚水將會在我的內在之火使世界歸於灰燼之時淹沒一切。

  12. I like to imagine a world of fantasy and dream, where talk of right and wrong would no longer make sense. 我喜歡想像一個有著幻想與夢的世界,在那裡沒有關於對與錯的討論。

  13. The spirit does not elevate; it tears you apart. 精神并不會提升你,它使你四分五裂。

  14. There is a close link between insomnia and despair. 失眠與絕望之間有著緊密聯繫。

  15. I am absolute contradiction, climax of antinomies, the last limit of tension; in me anything is possible, for I am he who at the supreme moment, in front of absolute nothingness, will laugh. 我是個絕對的矛盾體,是自相矛盾的極點,是矛盾張力之最大限度。於我而言,任何事都是可能的──我是一個會笑著面對絕對的虛無到來這一關鍵時刻的人。

  16. When should our happiness begin? When we have persuaded ourselves that there is no truth. All salvation comes thenceforth, even salvation through nothing. He who does not believe in the impossibility of truth, or does not rejoice in it, has only one road to salvation, which he will, however, never find. 我們的幸福將從何時開始? ──在我們說服自己真相並不存在之時。 所有的救贖將在此之後降臨——甚至是對於虛無(?)的救贖。不相信真相之不可能存在或對此并不感到喜悅的人,將只有一個獲得救贖的途徑──也就是──無法獲得救贖。

  17. Why always expect a definite stance, clear ideas, meaningful words? I feel as if I should spout fire in response to all the questions which were ever put, or not put, to me. 為何總是期望明確的立場、清晰的想法、有意義的話語? 我覺得我應當以噴火的形式來回答這些問題──不管它們是否都是指向我。

  18. After having struggled madly to solve all problems, after having suffered on the heights of despair, in the supreme hour of revelation, you will find that the only answer, the only reality, is silence. 在歷經瘋狂鬥爭、經歷絕望之巔而終於解決問題之后的偉大時刻,你會發現,唯一的答案、唯一的現實,便是寂靜。

  19. Only he who has separated time from existence lives this drama: fleeing the latter, he is crushed by the former. And he feels how time, like death, gains ground. 只有將時間與存在分離開來的人會在這場戲劇中倖存:他被前者碾碎,於是便從後者中逃了出來。他開始感到時間像是死亡一樣,在四周蔓延著。